Count Down 4 weeks to D-day
I’m going to try and be a little more active on MySpellingSucks again now that I have The DADvocate Project going smoothly. It’s been a while since my last post here but I’ve been working hard getting the other site up and running. In addition to The DADvocate Project I’m also writing at Dad-O-Matic and a new site that I’m one of the founders of dad revolution. So you can see I’ve been busy but I’ll be blogging here at least twice weekly going forward. You should see a post on Tuesday and Thursday every week for the foreseeable future. Tuesday posts will be a countdown post. Cp I just put Haley to bed tonight and she is really starting to get nervous. More of night time conversation focuses around the surgery. Tonight she was mad at me for rushing her and while I was giving her a bath she made a comment about having another dad. I told her I am the best dad for her because I was picked to be her dad and that I want the best for her. That stopped the smart alack conversation but when we got out the bath she commented.”
Haley understands that things should be easier for her after the surgery and the work to get better but she is still nervous. During our exercises and stretches she commented on how some things would be easier but then when we were laying down she started asking about going to sleep and the actual surgery. She was under the impression that she would be asleep for a long time and the surgery would take over night. She is really scared that we won’t be able to be in the surgery room with her and asked me to ask to be in the room during the surgery. I told her I would ask but I really hope they don’t agree to let me stay in. I will if the do but the idea honestly scares me. So tonight I explained that the surgery is only four hours and that helped. She asked me to help her calm down when she got upset and I think I did by hugging her but I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m afraid to tell her I’m scared too because I feel like she needs me to be strong and confident. I tell her it’s okay to be scared though.
Earlier this week Mel went through some of the same emotions. She was scared about the possibilities of the surgery and was trying to push them from her mind rather than accept the thoughts. This made her feel like she was going crazy because the thoughts wouldn’t stop coming. When we finally talked about it and she acknowledged the thoughts everything seemed to ease up.
Me I guess I just needed to write to get some this down and some of the thoughts off my chest. This is one situation where I really miss my dad. Unfortunately I don’t think he would be able to have a conversation about this even if we were talking right now but I really wish were. I hate everything that’s happened and I don’t feel like I have a trusted Male source to talk with about these things anymore. It honestly is very difficult. I miss my dad and I really do need to know that I’m making the right decision and I need to be told to be tough but instead all I have is my faith. Please God don’t let me be wrong on this one it’s way too important.
