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Check out my most recent post on Goal Setting over at Dad-O-Matic.com. It was posted last night.
Goal Setting
I talk about the use of goal setting in raising children. There are already some very interesting comments.
I’ve done a pretty good job of doing and getting what I want in and out of life. It didn’t start out that way but after practicing for 10 years and finally learning how to read in my eleventh and twelfth year I learned that I really could do almost anything I put my mind to. Unfortunately I think I let others define what was okay and what I should do for most of my life. But once I decide there was something I wanted, even if it was defined by others I generally did it.
About three years ago I was doing a job I thought I hated, I was smoking, and I generally was not as happy as I should have been. After all I was employed at a nice salary, I had a beautiful family, and I was living the dream as defined by so many. The problem was that it wasn’t my dream. But that wasn’t the only problem, actually it was really just a small part of the problem. I didn’t realize it then because I thought I knew what I wanted and thought I had it all, well almost. I was pretty depressed and a friend at work noticed. He handed me Tony Robbins cd program Personal Power II. I told him I thought the guy was a flake, but agreed to listen to the cd’s.
The CD’s were incredible and inspirational. I already understood that you could set and achieve goals but I hadn’t really done it previously for myself. I also hadn’t really thought about who I was or wanted to be. The biggest gift the cd’s gave me was that I realized that I really didn’t know what I wanted out of life. So I’ve since spent the last three years figuring it out.
This is who I am:
I am a nice, honest and straight forward and spiritual guy. I care about people deeply and want the best for them. I know that anyone can do just about anything they set their mind to including my wife, my kids, and myself. I am an incredible husband and dad and I will work my rear off to get better every day. I love business, technology and writing and I do it often. I live a healthy life style so I can get the most out of life. I do my best to give back to the community locally, nationally and internationally. I motivate people through writing, speaking, interacting and connecting on a deep personal level. I have no use for superficial relationships and I don’t care if I’m judged by others because I know who I am.
Knowing this about myself allows me to set goals and achieve them. Here are some of my big Goals for next year. Although I have been working on them for a while already and I don’t consider them New Year’s resolutions.
I have a number of other goals but this post is getting way too long. So what are your goals? Who are you?
Do you know?
I attribute this post to 1) The new year, 2) Seth Godin Seven Years Gone 3) Drew @ Benspark.com’s post Looking back looking ahead 4) Buck Daddy’s post Closing out 2009 and looking ahead to 2010.
If you haven’t read the book “Crush It” yet you need to. Gary Vaynerchuk started the Wine Library four years ago and built it into a $64 million dollar business using social media and connecting with his audience. In the book Crush It he talks about how you have to be willing to “bleed out you eye’s,” quoted from his speech the other day, to succeed.
I went to Gary’s book signing in Atlanta on Monday and stayed for his question and answer session. I had to oportunity to ask how his experience has been being a dad. Check it out.
By the way if your a Dad and haven’t completed the DADvocate project Survey yet, don’t forget to do it now!
I also want to credit @MaritzaParra and @JeffHerring from http://OnLineBizShow.com for providing the video clip.
I realize that I had a question that should have been published on the DADvocate survey. It was essay form so I removed it to make the survey easier to complete and I added it to the interview questions. The thing is I really wanted to get the story about how you approach parenting even as a survey participant. I guess I feel like I made the right discision to remove it but I’m impatient so if your a dad and reading this please leave a comment telling us about your approach to parenting.
Here’s mine -
First I love being a dad. I don’t think there is anything much more fun then playing with my kids as it gives me permission to act like the kid I really still am, but try to hide in professional situations. I think a lot of my parenting philosphy comes from my first child who does have CP, you can read about her elsewhere on this site. I can really sum it up in a single line “You need to get back up. I know you fall but get back up. I know it hurts but get back up. I know you think no one else falls but get back up. I know it’s hard but get back up. OH LOOK YOU’RE DOING IT! YOU’RE DOING IT!! YOU’RE DOING IT!!!! YES!!!!” Then its time to celebrate and know you can always do it. This philosphy can be expressed in so many scenarios and so many ways. If you’ed like to read more about how I apply it look at some of my other posts, here are a few that I think describe it well:
Video Interview of Haley about her book “I’m Not Weird”
What to do when they just smile at you
Was I a good girl today after my rough morning
Father of the Year – This isn’t just braging I’m actually interviewed in this post.
pregnancy – In the waiting room of the hospital NOW!
Please leave a comment and let me know what your philosphy is.
Oh yeah don’t forget to complete The DADvocate Project Survey
I’m very excited. I have the opportunity to interview a very special person on December 17, 2009 18:00 or 6:00 PM ET. The person is the Army’s employee of the year. She lives here in Ga and her sister lives in our neighborhood. So not only will we get to interview her but she is going to come to the house and my daughter will get to meet this wonderful person who has not let her disability get in her way. I’m very excited and I can’t wait to meet Brooke Larrabee. I’ll be broadcasting live on Ustream. We’ll send the details soon.
I’m excited because the publisher for I’m Not Weird reached out today and said they have everything they need to move the book to the next stage of production. That means we have gathered all the releases they need and they now have all the materials. The next step for them is to layout the book. I’ve been told that this process along with cover design will take about 2 months. Then the book will be ready to go to production. Very excited for Haley.
A few days ago I met a new friend online over at Copyblogger. His name is Josh Hanagarne and he had written a post - What I Learned From Writing 42 Guest Posts in 7 Weeks. In the blog Josh reveals he has Tourette’s and he basically took on the challenge to help him focus outside himself for a while. From what I understood changing focus helps him to alleviate symptoms. His candid writing style got me interested and I hoped over to his blog World’s Strongest Librarian. While there learning about Josh I decided to ask if he would post a gust blog here on MySpellingSuck. I sent an email and less than 10 minutes later I had a positive response via email. All this gave me a warm feeling towards Josh but then on the next day he posted a video to his blog and I realized that we are kindred spirts. I hope you’ll go visit his site and enjoy his writing and view on the world.
The other day my wife and I were heatedly discussing something. I sometimes have a bad habit of using potty words. While I’m not as bad as some I’m certainly no angle when it comes to this indiscretion.
Interestingly my oldest daughter has always understood that potty words are bad. She hardly experimented with them as a younger child and when she did it was in front of my mother-in-law when she thought she would be safe. Luckily disappointment pretty much aims Haley in the right direction most the time. So after disappointing my mother-in-law with the words she never used them again.
Well she asked me the other night why I used them if they are bad, and of course I did what most adults in that situation would do and said: “They are bad and you’re right I shouldn’t use them, but I have for so long that it’s become a habbit and it’s hard for daddy to stop. That’s why you shouldn’t start so it won’t be hard to stop.” Lame I know. Apparently so did she.
Then next day I was taking her to Sunday School and she said, “Daddy, I’ve been thinking, just because your old and have been saying bad words for a long time doesn’t mean you can’t stop, if you just make up your mind.” I go into a quick internal dialog – “hmm… I have proof that she listens to me occasionally and understands that if you make up your mind you can do what you choose. This is good news right. But can I really stop cursing, I’ve been doing it forever, and boy my parents (actually dad) always did it when he was arguing with my mom. Well that doesn’t mean it was okay. I guess I can just make up my mind to stop using curse words. I guess I really need to if I want my lessons to stick and it would probably make life in the house better too.” I speak out loud, “You know honey, you are absolutely right. If I make up my mind it doesn’t matter if I’m old I can stop. I’ll tell you what. I’ll make an effort to stop but if I mess up you have to remind me that I promised. Can you do that?” So now I’m on a no cursing kick. If you ever catch me feel free to point it out.
My Goodnest this is going to be difficult. Do you have any pointers?
Haley wanted to do an interview on her book so we staged this interview. The book will be published later this year and we should be doing pre-sales beginning later this month. I hope you enjoy the interview.
Tonight I ran for 1 straight mile for the second time since eleventh grade. My goal is to have run five miles total in 1 mile intervals before we leave for the hospital next week to receive our first born son.
Tonight I realized 2 lessons while running my mile.
1) I ran slowly tonight, much slower than the first mile I ran last Friday. When I hit my finish line I could have continued running but I stopped intentionally. I don’t want my muscles to get to sore and I need to complete my five miles before my son gets here next week. I’ve made a ton of commitments to myself that I have often broke but I refuse to break this commitment. I would rather die than break this commitment. You see I think Exercise has taught me something. It’s taught me that I can easily make bigger and better goal but I need to reach my first goal before making new ones. Don’t go faster Don’t go longer just go, and go and go and go. If you keep going you’ll do it. I only have 3 miles left to run before next Wednesday night when we leave for the hospital.
2) First born son’s have traditionally been a mainstay in history and religion. Tonight 1 week and 3 miles before my son arrives I know why. It wasn’t that men needed a son to give everything to it was that men needed a son to learn how to be a man. You see with daughters you have to be a good man but they will also forgive you for all your faults. Daughters are less likely to make your faults their own. Daughters are all about love and spiritual growth. Son’s are about making sure to keep your word because that is what a man should do. Keep your word to yourself and keep your word to the world. Son’s are about making sure that you not only set but meet your goals of improvement so they know to do the same. Son’s are about staying physically fit because they’ll expect you to keep up with them. Son’s are about ensuring your relationship with G-d is strong because you won’t always know the answer or do the right thing and you will need strength and forgiveness. Son’s and Daughter’s are about becoming all that you should be so that they KNOW they can become all that they can be.
Lord thank you for my wife and children and please give me the strength to be all that they need and become all I should be. In Your Holy Name, Amen.
