I was out running tonight and I finished my run right in front of the pool. I decided to take a look because there was a swim team competition there. It was fun to see the parents watching their kids compete. I began to think about Haley sports and competition.

I was not brought up to be competitive in sports. My dad perhaps afraid of what he could be like if he let himself go was reserved in encouraging us to compete. He was a skinny athletic guy who said he was never good at sports but I think he may have been. I also think he was probably pushed to compete when he didn’t want to and he was afraid of doing the same thing to us.

My dad also liked to workout but he never wanted to work out with me. Working out to him was all about working hard and there was no social, or fun in it. As such I think I hated working out for a long time because I thought it had to be hard and work.

Recently Haley competed in a swim meet. She participates on a swim team for kids with disabilities. She really enjoys swimming and is quite good at it but she is slow. At least she was before the operation because she was fighting with her self to kick in spite of her spacticity and had to remember to move her arms at the same time. When she competed even in the disability league she still came in last or next to last and believe it or not they were actually handing out ribbons. I have no problem with this and they were giving ribbons to all the kids but they said the place they finished so the ribbons did indicate how well they swam. My daughter didn’t particularly pay attention to her placement or how she swam compared to the other kids. She was just having a good time which is great. But sometimes she asks “why are things harder for me”, ” Why am I always last.” Right now she really wants the results from the operation to help her run at least as fast as the slowest boy.

So I’m watching this swim meet and reflecting on my thoughts on competition, how I was raised in respect to competition, what I think about competition as a direct result of how I was raised, what I think about competition in respect to my goals of running a half marathon, and I realized that I really don’t know what to tell my daughter about athletic competition. And then I realized that I do or at leas I think I do…

1) Sports are important. They are social and keep you healthy. They are a fun way to work out.
2) Some folks are into competition in sports and that’s cool. Sports is one area of life where you can compete with others but they are not all about competition with others. Sports are about doing as best as you can and being your best. You can compete with others but there will always be someone better and someone worse. That isn’t a reason not to compete and your toughest competition should always be you. If you work your hardest people will want to keep playing with you and they will help you do your best.
3) There are other areas of life where you are going to do better than other people and you want to help and encourage those people in that area of life who are trying to do their best, just like you want to be encouraged where you are trying your best.
4) There is no reason you can’t work out with friends.

Oh yeah and one more thing. My daughters ask me if they could run with me tonight before I was leaving to go. So I promised them that I would take them on a run tomorrow.

What do you think? Do I have the right perspective? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Share on Facebook

Tweet This Post

I was recently asked by a parent if they should do an SDR. We’ve been playing phone tag ever since. I just decided that I would write a post explaining my thoughts on SDR and how I would talk to another parent about it

I have to start by saying that the operation was a huge success for us an I can say that confidently, eventhough we are still in the recovery stages of the operation. As I mentioned in my last post Haley recognizes how much easier things are and is excited about the possibilities. As a parent I can see how much easier moving is and I’m Amazed at how quickly her strength seems to be returning. this week she started walking independantly within the house. As she gains confidence I think we will begin to leave the walker at home. So I can safely say that if your child is moderatly imparied then this treatment is awesome. That said, we chose to have the best most experienced dr in the country do the surgery. He makes a smaller incision than any other doctor and takes less bone. he has performed close to 2000 of these surgeries successfully and while I know there are other dr thY perform this surgery I wouldn’t recommend anyone other than Dr. Park.

Now that you know I think the sdr is great, I have to say that I’m positive the results of the surgery are different for every child. I spent a lot of time on the Internet looking for pictures and video of other children that had the surgery. I tried to look at how they moved befor and after and I looked at how they moved compared to my daughter. I pretty much came up with a mental composit of how Haley would fair after the operation. it turns out that I wasn’t far off. I believe this is a great exercise if your considering the operation. It helps you to see the “why” in the decision. Oh yeah we also got the opinion of every theripst, and multiple doctors. Not everyone agreed that we were making the right decision. Some of those people we have a ton of respect for and know personally much better than the Dr who performed the surgery. In the end it comes down to 1) it’s your decision as the parent and 2) how agressive do you want to be as a parent.

finally I will say that after I spent all that time doing my part and made the decision I did pray that it would be the right one.
IT WAS
IT IS
THANK G-D

Share on Facebook

Tweet This Post

It’s been a little over three weeks since the surgery and I’m not sure when I uploaded the last update. I’m writing this one on my iPhone since my Internet is out tonight.

Haley is doing extreemely well and recovering quickly from the sdr. She woke up before I left for work today and was sitting the stairs talking to me after having dressed herself. I told her how proud I was that she did that and she told me that it is much easier for her to dress now because she can move her legs more easily.

I can’t really explain how good that made me feel. When we made the decision to do the surgery we knew it should makenthings easier but we did not know how she would feel about it. Her validation today that things are easier for her means a lot. As is there are some things that are harder like she still cant walk independantly yet but I think she sees the progress she is making daily and understands that it just takes some time and practice.

I do have some videos and pics that I want to get up on the site but I just haven’t had time to put them together and edit them. I’ll post that stuff soon.

Share on Facebook

Tweet This Post

I don’t think I posted this after the operation but it was a very moving moment and I wanted to be sure I captured it for any other parent that might be considering an SDR for their child. It was within twenty four hours that my daughter said to us “hey my legs feel loose, the stiffness is gone.” She was still in bed, she was still on serious pain medicine but she felt it. She had never known anything different but all of the sudden she knew what it meant for the stiffness to be gone. It was a wonderful moment.

Share on Facebook

Tweet This Post